


Invisible Gestures of Love

by Erulinaz



Category: The Rook (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst and Feels, F/F, F/M, Language, Multi, Other, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2019-08-23
Packaged: 2020-09-24 20:30:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20364661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erulinaz/pseuds/Erulinaz
Summary: Old Myfanwy never noticed Gestalt's gestures of love, but they ensured that New Myfanwy never forgot about their goodbye kisses.





	Invisible Gestures of Love

**Author's Note:**

> I had so much fun writing this! Please don't mind any grammar or vocabulary mistakes. I hope you will enjoy reading this oneshot as much as I had while writing it. :)

Gestalt had always been all wrapped up around Myfanwy’s little finger. Really. She could ask them anything, she knew they would be there for her, no matter what. They fell for her when they were sixteen and their heart was stuborned. Their reason could yelled at them that Myfanwy Thomas was not in love with them and would never be, their feelings for her never changed. She was their soulmate, they knew it. Alas, they weren’t hers. They couldn’t blame her. How could she find her soulmate in four distinct bodies linked by the same mind?

They knew they were no hope for them, and yet they couldn’t help to keep trying. They wanted to be there for her, to be able to make her smile, to be, at least, good friends for her. Every gesture they had for her was colourised with the love they felt for her. But she was blind to it. She never knew. She stopped crushing over them, and now, she was just seeing them as friends. Amazing one, perhaps, but nothing more. Gestalt, with their eight eyes, was aware of that, and no matter how many individuals they would flirt and have sexual encounters with, their desire was always turned to Myfanwy Thomas. And her, only.

So, they did their best to give her a happy life.

Gestalt had found the courage to ask Myfanwy if she wanted to go to the restaurant with one of them for dinner. This was almost a date. Almost, because Myfanwy wasn’t aware of that. After all, she was eating with them quite often. 'Teddy' wanted to bring her to a nice and fancy restaurant. They wanted to treat like the queen of their heart she was. That night, 'Teddy' was wearing a grey suit which highlighted his blue eyes. They wanted to seduce her, an another vain attempt.

Once, they arrived in front of the restaurant, Myfanwy stopped. She was looking displeased.

“What’s wrong, Myf?” 'Teddy' said, worryingly

“There is no way I am eating there.”

“What… What do you mean? I got a reservation for the two of us.”

“Well, I am sorry about that, but I am not dining in crystal plates or in whatever fancy stuff. Too crowded, no privacy, too much a place for show off.”

“Oh ok then...” Gestalt was disconcerted. “Where do you want to eat, then?”

“I don’t know… Let’s see what London has to offer.” And with that, she started walking away.

Gestalt felt his heart clenched: she was leaving them behind, like the feelings she used to feel for them, for 'Robert', at least. But that was a long time ago, before the incident, before Bristol, before she knew about them not being siblings.

'Teddy' caught up with her. No, no, she couldn’t leave without them. They even took her hand in theirs. She seemed surprised, but didn’t remove her hand from their tight grip. There was something comforting about having 'Teddy' so close to her.

They looked for a restaurant for hours. 'Teddy' was tired due to walking, he was also hungry and a bit desperate. Gestalt had planned the perfect evening for them and Myfanwy, but she never sticked to their plan. Gestalt was about to tell Myfanwy that she needed to take a decision, when she suddenly stopped. She let go of 'Teddy'’s hand.

“This looks so cosy!” she exclaimed, watching the inside of a Japanese Restaurant through the window.

“Yeah? Let’s get inside, then.”

The food was really good and they spent a good evening together. Gestalt knew they would come back there time to time with her. They were happy about that. However, once they brought Myfanwy back home and they were all laying in their bed, the only thing they were feeling was their pain. This wasn’t a date, never going to be one. All of them, too many for one person to handle, were feeling too alone for one individuals to be able to bare it. They were feeling stupid, why couldn’t they be happy about their evening with her?

Because it wasn’t enough. Never going to be, anyway.

It was the middle of the night. Gestalt had fought all day, run all day, focused all day. They just needed a good night of sleep.

One of their phone rang. Shit. Who could that be at such an ungodly hour? One of the Gestalt’s body hang up, without looking at the ID which appeared on the screen.

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“Ges… Gestalt? I’m so sorry to wake you up.”

“Myfanwy?!” 'Robert' sat on the bed, heart beating in his chest “What’s going on? Something wrong?”

“I… Fuck, sorry I shouldn’t have called you. You need to rest. Shit, sorry. See you tomorrow.”

“No, no. Tell me. You know I’m always here when you need me. Tell me, Myf.”

“I dreamt of it. Of… what I did.”

Gestalt didn’t need to ask her what she meant by that. Glengrove was haunting her and they couldn’t do anything to help her forget about this unfortunate event. No matter how many times they told her it wasn’t her fault, that it was Bristol’s fault (the proof was that no one was calling it the “Thomas incident”, but the “Bristol incident”), she never believed them. She was so guilty. Their powerlessness was killing them, making them sick. They could take care of a house full of guards, but they couldn’t make the girl they loved feel better. Life was unfair.

“Do you want me to come by? I could make you hot chocolate and stay with you until you feel better. How does it sound, Myf?

“Perfect, you are amazing, Gestalt.”

“Yeah, I know, I know” 'Robert' answered, casual, when her compliment was warming their whole body. When she was talking to them like that, they were sure they were unstoppable. She made them stronger.

'Robert' rushed to her flat. She was waiting for them, in the street, in her robe. She looked distressed. When she saw them, she jumped into their arms. Robert pulled her into a hug. She cried, her fists clenched on his clothes.

“Shht, Myfanwy. All of this is over, now. Everything is ok. Come on, let’s go in, you are going to catch a cold.”

She was unable to answer, she just nodded at them. She refused to let them go, her grip on them was unbreakable. They let her do, happy to be there for her, unhappy to see her in such a state of mind. But, at least, they were together.

'Robert' made her hot chocolate, they drank in silence. Myfanwy was calming down. She even found the strength to smile at them.

“Thank you, Gestalt. I don’t know what I would do without you”

Gestalt didn’t answer, just smiled at her. When 'Robert' got up to leave, Myfanwy stood up, panic in her eyes.

“Where are you going?”

“I thought you didn’t need me any more, so… But I can stay if you want me to.” 'Robert' offered

“Sleep with me, please.” She blushed when she realised she said it out loud. “I mean… I feel safer when you are around.”

“I’ll stay, then.”

They slept together, that night. It hadn’t happen since… since Eliza and Myfanwy stopped sharing a room. Gestalt hold Myfanwy close to them, and they were both peaceful. Neither of them wanted the night to stop.

But neither of them had the power to freeze time.

Myfanwy also made them weaker.

She was unusually excited. She was with 'Eliza', for a shopping spree. Myfanwy was looking for a dress. Because she had a date. With someone else than Gestalt.

A week ago, she had greeted Gestalt with a smile that made their day, only for them to learn, later that same week, that Myfanwy had met someone. A guy from the accounts department. He proposed her to go to a fancy restaurant with him. She said yes. When Myfanwy had told all of this to 'Eliza', she failed to notice the hurt in Gestalt’s eyes. They felt like if they were back to Glengrove, when Myfanwy was talking to 'Eliza' about how Bristol’s kisses were tasting. They cried a lot that night, protected from the darkness of their room, they let the pain took possession of them. After a while they fell asleep, exhausted by the tears. The next morning, during the lunch break, Myfanwy asked a favour of 'Eliza': coming with her to find a suitable dress for her date. Gestalt was silently screaming for her to stop this torture. But they didn’t get the strength to tell her no, so with her usual soft smile, 'Eliza' told her that yes, of course, Myf, I’ll help you find that _fucking_ dress. Whatever you want from me. Like always.

So here Gestalt was, waiting for Myfanwy to try on some dresses they had found. 'Eliza' was feeling empty. They didn’t want to be there. They didn’t want to see the girl they loved in a dress bought for someone else than them. Bought to seduce someone else than them.

Myfanwy coughted to gain 'Eliza'’s attention. Gestalt’s eyes widen at Myfanwy’s sight. She was stunning. The long golden dress was perfectly hugging her body, her shoulders bare were calling for kisses. She was a real sunshine in Gestalt's life.

“You look fucking amazing.”

“Thank you, Gestalt. Do you think he would like this dress on me?”

'Eliza'’s smile slip away during a few seconds, before she started to smile again.

“Come on, Myf, you can’t dress for a man. You need to dress for yourself, you are the first person you need to seduce, to find attractive. Do you find yourself attractive in it?”

“Yeah, very much”

“Then, you have you answer”

Myfanwy’s eyes lit up, she walked towards 'Eliza' and kissed her on the cheek.

“Thank you very much, Gestalt, for every thing. I will take the dress.”

While Myfanwy was getting back into the fitting room, every Gestalt’s bodies slowly raised their hands to touch their cheek, where the girl they loved had kissed them, for the first time in a long time. But this kiss was meaning nothing to her.

Myfanwy came home earlier this day. Painful menstruation. She took a shower and laid in her couch, dressed in a pyjamas. She didn’t expect her intercom to announce her someone’s visit. When she opened the door, she was greeted by a wicked smile and curly hair.

“Hi”

“Can I do something for you, Gestalt?”

'Alex' laughed.

“Did you steal my line? I am here to take care of you. Ingrid told me about your cramps. I know how it hurts.”

“That’s very sweet of you.”

She let them come inside of her flat.

“You know what we are going to do?” 'Alex' asked Myfanwy, winking at her

“Not yet?”

“You are going to chose a movie, everything you want, even a bad one – even if a good one is better –, and I will prepare you a hot water bottle and some tea. Once we are both ready, we are going to watch what you choose under a blanket.”

“You are my true and only hero, Gestalt”

“Yeah, I know.”

'Alex' busied themselves in the kitchen, not wanting to let Myfanwy see the blush that spread on their cheeks. They got everything ready for them before joining the skinny girl on the couch. She was in a foetal position due to the physical pain.

“You need to relax, Myf. Here, take pills with your tea. And here your hot water bottle. I swear to you that you will feel better in an instant.”

“You know that no one takes care of me the way you always do?” Myfanwy said, grateful

“Ah yeah, not even your _boyfriend_?” 'Alex' snapped.

Shit. Gestalt didn’t want to say that to her even if they thought, every time they saw him, that he didn’t deserve a goddess like Myfanwy Thomas. She was a fucking Rook when he was a stupid pawn!

Myfanwy didn’t expect such an answer from 'Alex'. Since 'Eliza' and her stopped sharing a room, Gestalt never dared saying anything about her boyfriends any more.

“So what are we watching?” 'Alex' tried to change the subject. Myfanwy noticed, frowned, but decided to play along.

“_Doctor Who_.”

“Good choice.” 'Alex' tried to smile at her, but he was pretty sure it was more looking like a grimace.

They got comfy against each other. Myfanwy put her head on their laps and, as 'Alex' promised, the pain got away. She even fell asleep. Gestalt was gently caressing her hair. They were such idiots.

Two days later, Myfanwy came to Gestalt, telling them that she broke up with her boyfriend. When they asked her why, she answered that he wasn’t taking a good care of her. But she didn’t get the nerve to make a move on them, while her heart was begging her to do so.

That was when she knew that her memory was going to be wiped away that she found the courage to be with them. After all, that very night, she didn’t have anything to lose, right?

_Not like Gestalt_.

Gestalt had read her letter, it had burned theirs fingers, and now it was burning their heart. She had planned to leave. Even if she wasn’t the Myfanwy they knew, she was still Myfanwy Thomas, the girl they fell for, a long time ago. Despite the pain, the anger, the sorrow, they did their best to protect her. But she didn’t need their protection any longer. Without the memories of what happened with Bristol, she became who she was supposed to be. But, in order to truly discover herself, Gestalt knew she needed to leave her previous life. And they were part of this previous life.

When they saw her exiting the compound, they felt a lot of relief. Even if that was meaning they had to let her go, they were happy to see her safe and sound. However, since they didn’t know if she was coming back to them one day, they couldn’t say her goodbye without _kissing_ her. If Old Myfanwy Thomas had never seen the love in their gestures, they wanted to make sure that New Myfanwy saw it. And never forgot about it.

'Eliza' rushed toward her and pulled her into a big warm hug. The embrace was firm and lasted a few instants. Myfanwy was about to leave, but 'Eliza' didn’t let her go. They put their hands on each side of Myfanwy’s head and kiss her, like they never did before. They didn’t ask permission, They didn’t wait to see if Myfanwy wanted it as badly as they did, like in the infirmary. No. 'Eliza' just kissed her with all the passion they always felt for Myfanwy. The kiss was deep, burning the lips of both of them. Gestalt put all the desire they always had for her in it. It was so good to be finally able to show her the way they had felt for her. Myfanwy was taken aback, she didn’t answer the kiss straight away, but soon she griped 'Eliza'’s hips. They eventually broke the kiss, out of air.

“I wish you to be truly happy.” 'Eliza' said before letting Myfawny go.

Myfanwy made only three steps before being stopped by 'Robert'. They had a quick exchange about Farrier, before 'Robert' kissed her. This time Myfanwy wasn’t surprised by the kiss, but by the fact that Gestalt used an other body to kiss her again. What was that? 'Robert'’s kiss was more tender than 'Eliza'’s one. It was a soft, very lovingly kiss. It was the kind of kiss which means “you are the love of my life, I love you to the moon and back”.Gestalt didn’t want to pull away, but Myfanwy made them, by slowly pushing away with her hands on their shoulders.

“I have always loved you” 'Robert' said, looking at her straight in the eyes. Gestalt never thought they would be able to whisper those words to her.

Myfanwy got away from 'Robert', her heart beating like a fool in her chest, and her head spinning a little bit. She didn’t have the time to regain her composure, because 'Teddy' caught her suddenly by the waist.

“Where the fuck were you, Myfanwy?” He said through gritted teeth, angrily. But she couldn’t answer them; they had already sealed their lips to hers. She thought it was going to be an angry kiss, but she was wrong. The kiss was indeed quite rough, but it was rough because of the distress Gestalt was currently feeling. They lost the girl they loved. And they probably already lost the girl they could have loved. It was a kiss full of need. 'Teddy' bit her lips before taking a step away from her.

“I’m proud of who you are becoming.”

Myfanwy had tears in her eyes. She was heading towards Linda, but 'Alex’'s hand catch her by the shoulder, then by her wrist. Shit, she wasn’t ready to deal with him. They kissed her for the fourth and last time. They both tasted her tears on their lips. This was the most painful kind of kiss. It was cruel, heartbreaking. This was Gestalt’s goodbye kiss. The feelings of love, miss and regrets were all mixed together in it. It was truly unbearable. She gripped 'Alex'’s hair, unable to let them go. They were holding each other like if their life depended on it. Finally, they pulled away, trying to catch their breath. 'Alex' took a step away, if they didn’t, they knew they wouldn’t be able to tell her this:

“I know you wanted to leave, and if you still do I won’t be angry. But I’ll miss you”

Myfawny took their hands in hers.

“Gestalt, please, tell me it wasn’t that kind of kiss.”

“What kind of kiss?”

“A goodbye one.”

“It was. But it’s up to you not to making it a farewell kiss, Myfanwy.”

Myfanwy couldn’t breath.

“Gestalt, can you… can you wait for me?”

“I always did. And if you ask me to, I’ll continue waiting for you.”

“Then I promise you that one day I’ll be back for you. And only for you.”


End file.
